I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you traded sex for a burrito?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize