Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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