Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Randomize
