i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
