Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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