I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
