i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I AM VODKA MAN
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
