I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
one two three fourrrrnication!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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