Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
