bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
