It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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