i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
