You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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