i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
