I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
