i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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