do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize