"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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