You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize