When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
