I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
