We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
