But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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