it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
