The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
