come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize