remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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