We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
