why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I could make wine with my vomit
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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