winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
