Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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