foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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