I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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