Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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