Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
