Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
