Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think your dad took our porno
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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