Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize