just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
