What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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