i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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