Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
