Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
