Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize