the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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