Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i've created a new STD.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
