Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
