Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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