He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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