K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
