just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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