She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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