apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
