its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Farmville is her only friend.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
