There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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