What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
