i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So much rum. So many feels.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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