Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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