forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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