When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I still have a little drunk in my system
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
