so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have fence marks all over my body
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
