Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
