We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
