Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
