so let's talk penis.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
