So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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