I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
