wrigley field is MILF paradise
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Couch. On fire.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
