Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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